The Thrill of Omaha
From America’s Finest News Source:
Rural Nebraskan Not Sure He Could Handle Frantic Pace Of Omaha
NORTH PLATTE, NE–Lifelong North Platte resident Fred Linder, 46, revealed Monday that he doesn’t think he could cope with the fast-paced hustle and bustle of Omaha, the Cornhusker State’s largest city.
The Comments
dosequis says I agree. Lincoln is the January 23, 2009 at 8:04am
I agree. Lincoln is the place to be!
Matt Olberding says I think there is someone at the Onion from Nebraska January 23, 2009 at 9:47am
because the state often appears in articles. My last name has even appeared three times in articles, including this one:
The OnionAd-Agency Print Buyer Can’t Believe They Want To Add A Perf This Late In The Game
LINCOLN, NE–Milt Olberding, a print buyer with L&G;Advertising, expressed disbelief Tuesday that Capital City Chrysler owner William “Biff” Brignola wants to add a perforated insert to his ad this late in the game.
L&G;Advertising print buyer Milt Olberding.
“A perf? At this point?” said Olberding, 33, upon learning of the change from L&G;Advertising account manager Phil Essene. “We were about to put this whole thing to bed. Why didn’t Brignola mention this last week when I was giving him quotes for coated?”
Essene, who helped design the full-page Capital City ad slated to run in a 32-page “Great Savings” sales flyer that will be mailed to all Lincoln-area households Monday, said he was “just as blown away” as Olberding.
“I was all set to seal up the Cap City ad and send out a proof, when I get this fax from Brignola asking about a BRM,” Essene said. “Talk about a complete 180. I was, like, ‘What? Now you want a 4 1/4 corner perf? Do you have any idea what that entails? Hello!’”
According to Olberding, the insertion of the business-reply-mail postcard will not only necessitate the perforation changes, but a switch to heavier paper, as well.
“I was going to go with Blue Lake, but I don’t even think they do perfs on card stock,” Olberding said. “Brignola had better be prepared to pay for 110-pound weight, because I’m not pulling the Great Savings proofs again. No fucking way. Not at this late juncture.”
“I guess if he absolutely insists, it’s doable,” Olberding continued. “As long as this clown doesn’t want to make changes to his ad in Sunday’s FSI. He tries to pull that, I swear, I’ll laugh right in his face.”
According to Olberding, there isn’t a major newspaper in the state that would include a 110 in a free-standing insert.
“The problem with guys like Brignola is that they have no concept of the varied distro channels in a market like Lincoln,” Olberding said. “Even worse, they’re cheap as hell. Brignola’s the kind of guy who’d go with a lighted all-weather instead of a door-to-door if it meant shaving a few bucks off his bottom line. No vision whatsoever.”
Refusing to accept any changes to the FSI, Olberding is proceeding with the requested modifications to the Great Savings spread only.
“Maybe we can stick with the old Cap City layout, watermark the clip art, and throw the BRM in the corner opposite the bleed, but I doubt [Brignola]’s going to go for that,” Olberding said. “If he wants it reworked, we’ll have to send it back down to design, but I can tell you right now that [art director] Danielle [Gura] will not be a happy camper. I told her just this morning that the one-page was ready to fly.”
Informed of the changes to the Capital City ad, Gura rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips.
“Come on!” Gura said. “What is up with this guy? Does he want an 8 1/2 x 11, or does he want a whole friggin’ end-aisle display? Maybe he should make up his mind now, before I rework the Quark doc.”
Though willing to make the changes, Gura said that if Brignola decides to switch from 4C to B&W;when he gets a price quote on the paper upgrade, she will be “royally pissed.” Such a change would force her to reshuffle the pagination of the entire flyer to bury the ad in the no-color spread.
“This Brignola reminds me of that guy from Footsavers,” Gura added. “He just had to add a samp of the new line extension just when we had his broadside ready to go. Then, on top of that, he had the audacity to ask if he could get a blister pack instead of a gummed attachment. Talk about canceling the wedding when the bride’s at the altar. Christ.”
D.M.B. says Having had lived in both January 23, 2009 at 11:55am
Having had lived in both towns I can safely say that I’ll never be going back to North Platte.
Fletch says RE: Having had lived in both January 23, 2009 at 1:48pm
I concur!
foxspit says RE: Having had lived in both January 26, 2009 at 9:30am
I’ve lived in both too and I can’t imagine ever going back to North Platte.